Growth Watch!

Side-Show Bob whispers sweet nothings to Drew Gooden's neck growth.



Recently, Silver Bullet investigators have learned from scientists specializing in spores, molds and fungus several possible origins for that thing on the back of Drew Gooden's neck. Here are a few of them:







The spot on Rasheed where god touched him.











The best case I've ever seen for spray-on hair.







Former:





Current:





Caeser's missing unibrow.





In a never-ending pile of evidence proving that the Silver Bullet 'employs' the hardest working investigative reporters this side of Geraldo Rivera, we bring you an exclusive interview with Drew Gooden's neck hair soul patch thing:







Silver Bullet: Welcome to the Silver Bullet offices. Thanks for granting us this interview.

Neck Hair Soul Patch Thing: Oh god. Jesus, help me... Every moment is agony!

SB: Right. Um, How are things?

NHSPT: Not good...

SB: Well, thanks for granting us this interview. Does Drew Gooden know you're here?

NHSPT: He does...*BLOARRGH* (vomiting)

SB: Wow. Are you alright?

NHSPT: ...

SB: What are your origins? Can we blame your existence on the fact that Gooden can't see you without a mirror?

NHSPT: What? No, oh go*BLOARRRRRRGH* (more vomiting)

SB: Ick. Here's a tissue. Can you continue?

NHSPT: Agh! No, I can't continue! For god's sake, Kill me! I shouldn't exist!

SB: Just a few more. How do you feel about the Cavaliers evening up this series? Do you think the media has underestimated their chance of beating the Pistons?

NHSPT: Gurgle... *BLOOOOOOOARRRRRRGH* (still more vomiting)





Well, you heard it here first folks. Join us next week when we interview Michael Vick's cocker-spaniel, Floyd Landis' urine sample, and Mark Cuban's sense of humility.



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