Upon hearing the news that Texas phenom Kevin Durant will enter this year's NBA draft, Celtics General Manager Danny Ainge informed Celtic's coach Doc Rivers that it was "time to bring in the small guns". Knowing his coaching future was in jeopardy, Rivers benched Delonte West, Paul Pierce, Wally Szczerbiak, Al Jefferson, and Kendrick Perkins in favor of Anthony Goldwire, Kevinn Pinkney, Celtics mascot Lucky the Leprechaun, Hobo Eddie "Pancake" Jackson, and John Burroughs, a man who will never walk again. Anthony Goldwire and Kevvinn Pinkney were recently signed to 10 day contracts. Lucky the Leprechaun has given up his cheer-leading duties in favor of the starting small forward spot. John Burroughs confused the location of the Celtics practice facility with that of his local YMCA, where Burroughs plays for the Boston Knights, a local wheel-chair basketball team. Upon seeing Burroughs enter the facility, Ainge signed Burroughs for the rest of the season, and informed him that "no, he could not leave." Eddie "Pancake" Jackson has lead the league in rebounds per minute played since coach Doc Rivers told Jackson that "the ball has crack in it".
In the 3 games with this line-up, the Celtics have lost to the Atlanta Hawks, the New York Knicks, and the Washington Generals by a total of 753 points. When Kevin Durant was asked to comment, he wept openly.
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