Eat Your Heart Out, Klosterman

So much of life comes down to cost-benefit analyses: does monogamy with a good woman one loves reconcile with sacrificing the spice of life (i), is the comfort and standard of living provided by owning a home worth the monthly mortgage payment and drastic reduction in flexibility (ii), and does the taste and satiation of adding cheese to a Slim 4 outweigh the fact that you're basically ponying up for a Turkey Tom (iii)? Since life is basically the conduction of cost-benefit analyses and subsequent enjoyment or burden thereof, decisions that would otherwise be only newsworthy often become watershed when the subject clearly weights the inputs of an elementray decision process incorrectly.

By throwing an indirectly provoked sucker punch, back-pedaling as fast as his considerably coordinated feet would allow, and finally trying to catfight away a 5'7" Nate Robinson, Carmello Anthony has ostensibly committed just such a mistake. Few events in the history of sports did more marketing damage than Melo's little MSG Hissy Fit has the potential to do. As Allen Iverson and Tiger Woods both reap big endorsement deals for their respective labors, Madison Avenue has become quite a dichotomy for sports figures. A street-tough, mercurial attitude and a puritan dedication to excellence have both become valuable personas. Melo demonstrated his lack of concern for the latter by fighting, and managed to alienate the former ( including hicks, thugs, and future frat-boys) by fighting like an extra from Blazing Saddles.

I've always been a Carmello apologist, so I'm hoping history will somehow be kind to this little transgression. The footage I saw was limited, so maybe 'Melo had a good reason for hitting the dude. Bitchslapping in support of a friend is an honorable defense indeed.

Also: Does anyone know what exactly happened when Zeke was bitchily mouthing words to 'Melo right before the fight?