Most people have the ability to tune music out. I am doubly cursed. I can't ignore songs I'd rather not hear, and I'm a music snob. I've endured years of grinding my teeth through the sounds of Billy Joel in restaurants and the idiocy of the Pussycat Dolls (currently) at the bar. I try not to be a jerk about it; I realize I'm the one with the problem. For the most part, I deal with it, like one might deal with razor-burn or child birth. But there are some arenas where I just can't take it. For instance, when Detroit teams are in the finals.

When I was a kid, these songs were cool, I'm even nostalgic about them now. I remember hearing a lot of "The Heat is On" by Glenn Frey when the Tigers were in the playoffs last time. There was a little "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor going on back then as well, and no ten year old boy hearing that song didn't love it. Later we got into "Can't Touch This" by Hammer sounding off to celebrate the back to back bad boy championships in 89 and 90. Some of you probably remember "The Final Countdown" by Europe or "We are the Champions" by Queen. They changed the feed for the suburbs. It's why everyone was so confused when Salley kept jerking his ring away from reporters claiming that "they couldn't touch this". After that I remember I heard the chorus from "Like a Rock" about 7000 times during March Madness. Only Chevy could ruin a Bob Seger song (whose backing band is where this blog got its namesake). We'll get back to Chevy in a minute.

Then when the Pistons were obviously going to lose to 'the greatest starting five ever assembled' of Shaq, Kobe, The Glove, The Mailman, and Rick Fox (!?!?) we had to endure that damn Black Eyed Peas censored version of "Let's Get Retarded" which boringly became "Let's Get it Started". Watching The Peas do the intro to the games in all Lakers garb got better and better every time as we watched the Pistons not only crush the Lakers, but send them to every corner of the earth, the organization never quite recovering from all the quality minutes Darko pulled down in that series. Considering how well that game series was prognosticated, they should have stuck with the retarded version. After that, my mind will never be able to get the image of Sheed leaving Big Shot Bob open on the three point line every time I hear that eerily foreboding Rob Thomas "Heading for a Heart Break" atrocity. Rob Thomas doesn't even like Rob Thomas.

Now the Tigers are in the series, and Chevy is back with another gem, a rousing jingoistic tune by none other than John (all grown up and not The Cougar anymore) Mellencamp. I don't know what Indiana truckstop they decided to flyer to get a hold of this guy, but I guess he's just going to have to put off those local fried chicken joint spots and car dealership appearances until next year. It's bad enough that this is just a terrible song. Michigan's economy is in complete shambles at the moment and a lot of that has to do with the big three's unwillingness to believe that it's not 1982 anymore, when a song like "Jack and Diane" might just be stupid enough to sell some trucks. As someone who's future and who's family's future will be directly affected by the success or failure of Chevy's ad campaigns, I'd give up some of the memories of the great songs of my youth just to be able to tune this one out.